Apple Juice - A short Story WIP

I have my uptimes and downtimes just as everyone else, although my
friend see my downtimes as a serious problem. Nevermind though, that's beside
the point. When I got down today I decided to get it out of my heart(a
grudge I've held for about five years now, which I cannot let go) and
wrote a short story filled to the brim with these feelings(please note
that the work still is fictional). It's not done, I've only written the
base. I'm going to fill it out, correct some errors, etc, but I wanted
to share it with you guys and I'm hoping to get some feedback.

Link:
http://terradont.deviantart.com/art/Apple-Juice-WIP-162740014